Saturday, July 30, 2005

年轻的故事(A Story)

他每天坐92路车回家,如果正好赶上下午5点的那班车,他都会见到那个女孩。92路公共汽车的起点站是一所女校,而女孩就在那所学校就读。女孩每天都坐在同一个靠窗的座位上。他上车的那站人很多,每次他都挤在车子中央,有时也会站在女孩的座位旁。时间一久,两人都开始互相留意起对方来。女孩看上去很清秀,身体有些仟弱的样子。而他自己也还是在中学就读的学生,带一幅细黑边眼镜,书生气很足的样子。她的脸总是朝向窗外,因此他可以肆无忌惮的盯着她看。有时她好像发觉一样,会突然把头转过来,在眼神交错时,两人都会急忙将头转开。从眼角处,他会看到她脸上闪现的红晕。为了可以看到她,他每天都尽力去赶5点的那班车,有时拖着重重的书包跑得满头大汗的跳上车,挤到女孩的座位旁站着。久而久之,两人会像打招呼一样互相微笑一下,可不知为何,却从来没有讲过话。后来,他在上车时,女孩会主动接过他的书包,放在自己的膝盖上,等到他下车时再还给他。有时他挤在车子中央,女孩也会伸出纤细的手臂,费力的把他的书包从人群中拖过来放在自己的膝盖上。他下车后,会从窗口看看女孩,女孩会对他微微笑一下,点点头,好像说明天再见的样子。

后来好像是因为下午棒球队集训,他开始改乘了晚上7点的班车,因此有很长一段时间他都没有见到女孩。大约过了两个月后,集训结束,他又恢复到了以往的日程。5点的班车上,女孩还是坐在同样的位置,他看到,女孩在突然看到他的出现时,眼睛里有很亮的东西闪了一下。上车后,女孩还是照旧接过他的书包,放在自己的膝盖上。他一直站在她的座位旁,直到下车,两个人还是没有说一句话。回家后,他翻开书包,准备拿出作业来做,发见书包的夹层里有一个信封。他拿出信封,里面有一张卡片。翻开卡片,他看到女孩娟秀的字体,内容并不长,只是一般性的问候,以及有些关心地口吻问他最近为什么没有在车上出现。他翻来覆去的看着那张卡片,只觉得心中有一丝甜蜜悄悄溢满了全身。他想,也许应该约她出来了。于是他冲到贺卡店,也买了一张卡片,约女孩周日在老皇宫前见面。他小心翼翼的封好信封,并在信封上郑重的写上--“给我想见的人”,然后将信放在书包的夹层里。

第二天,他赶上了5点的班车,可是,女孩并没有在上面。第三天,第四天,女孩还是没有出现。

每天,他都会把信封拿出来检查一下,生怕把信遗失了。周五的时候,同学叫他一起去看电影,看完电影他和同学一路打闹回到家,突然发现书包忘在了电影院。等他赶回电影院去找时,书包已经不见了。他只好把家里的电话留给了电影院,很失落的回到了家。过了两天,他收到电影院打来的电话,说有人将他的书包交还了电影院。他匆忙赶到电影院拿回了他的书包。回到家,第一件事就是去看信是否还在。信还在,可是信封被人拆开了,有人偷看了他的卡片。他感觉很气愤,有一种被欺骗的感觉。信封已经不能再用了,他只好又去拿了一个新的信封,可是新的信封和卡片不配套,他总觉得心里有些不爽。但他还是每天带着信封去坐5点的车,每天都把信封拿出来检查一下。就这样又过了一段时间,信封有些磨损了,可女孩还没有出现。

一天,他还是照常上了5点的班车,女孩还是没有出现在固定的位置上。他想,也许女孩搬家了,心中觉得很是失落。可是突然,身后有一只手把他的书包抓了过去,他回头一看,女孩原来坐在对面的位置上。他问她为什么换了位置,他说她上车晚了,平日里常坐的位置已被人占了,所以只能坐在这里。这是他们第一次对话,两人还是很害羞。说完话,她又将头转向了窗外。他偷偷打量着她,她看上去很苍白,好像大病初愈的样子。一直到下车,他们都没有再说一句话。直到要下车时,他从她手里接过书包,掏出那封藏了很久的信,匆匆赛在她的手里,然后转身逃也似得下了车。下车后,他刚松了一口气,却想起信里约的见面时间早已过去,他想马上跑回窗口旁告诉女孩新的时间,可是女孩坐在车的另外一边,他看不到她。他看着车开走的背影,想只能明天再告诉她了。

第二天,女孩没有出现。那以后很久,女孩都一直没有出现。后来,他搬家了。有时,他还走回来特意去乘5点的那班车,可再也没碰上那个女孩。


Tuesday, July 19, 2005

When do we say love?

People have different interpretations of love. For some people, when they have affections for others, they call it love. For me, it's just affection, or at most, like. For some other people, they may say the word because they feel obligated, they feel they owe the love to other people, they feel like they need to say love in return. For me, it's not love at all. If I say love, it has to come from the deepest part of my heart.

I don't say the word love easily. When I say Love, it means responsibility. It means that I'm ready to give commitment. It means that I'm willing to think of the future. It means that I'm willing to take risks, willing to sacrifice for it.

Love is a process. I don't believe love on first sight. Love has to be nurtured by both people. Love has to grow through communications. People can be attracted to each other right away, people can have affection for each other right away, people can be fascinated by each other right away, but people cannot love each other right away. Love takes time. People have to understand each other well enough before they can talk about love. People have to know each other well, have to know each other's good personalities, as well as the bad habits. Only when you can accept the person as a whole, only when you can completely open your heart to each other, you can say love out.

When a person says love out to the other person, she unavoidably opens herself completely and exposes her heart directly to him; she shows him her most vulnerable side. If he is kind, he will know how to take care of her heart and may give his in return. But if he is not kind enough, he may just throw the heart on the floor and step on it. Then she needs to bear with all the pains to pick up the broken heart and put it back into her body, and then spend a long time to recover. So when we say love, we have to be very careful, we have to make sure he/she is the right person, or at least a kind person.


Hope